"Democracy": The Halls of Abandonment
by: Robert Zimmerman

Democracy exists everywhere in US society: except schools. Everyone is told what to do, rather than having their say in the matter; a couple common situations are 1) the authority figure, 2) every teacher has a “small” request (i.e. Arduous labor), and 3) almost democratic ideas. Firstly, it’s common knowledge that when you walk into a classroom, the teacher plays the role of an authoritarian lieutenant (in any military operation but the US’ of course) and you, the class, are the unlucky squadron he/she commands. And, of course, the students sit there, wide-eyed and wary, while the teacher makes fun of every last one over the course of the school year. How’s that for democratic life, eh? … Might as well move to Japan or something… Another routine act of cruelty... err… Yeah! Cruelty! Is a “tiny” favor the teacher “asks” you to carry out. Oh, the poor souls who hear, “The last one out shuts the door and turns out the lights!” The last one out is being punished for either being unaware in class, or, more commonly, a poor, helpless, 325-pound porker of a kid right in the middle of his third sandwich that period. So sad when children seeking their education must suffer to fall behind from the group and be left alone in that dark, brooding hallway… How can you put a child through that trauma? Sometimes those same, sad (in more ways than one) students are sent to deliver messages to other teachers, but they don’t know the room number, not even a vague idea of where it is… They feel alone and are forced to peek their heads into the doors of every classroom along the long, uncertain way and, each time, face the vile stares of other students who are utterly appalled by the interruption in their valuable education. Poor kids, the teacher knows whom he/she’s singling out and how is that democratic? This issue could at least be put to a vote (i.e. a popularity contest). Lastly come the feared almost, but not-quite-democratic, class situations (illegal in the states of Iowa and Arkansas: they can’t handle the grief on top of all they have already). Who’s heard the phrase, “In the interest of democracy, let’s put it to a vote!” followed by, “… And in the interest of subverting democracy, let’s make it an essay-vote with lots of room for write-ins!” I’ve felt that pain… Isolating those deprived immigrants in the corner of the room (huddled in their living room, using a lighter as a fireplace)… Crushing those students who write in slang, “Only grammatically correct answers will be counted.” *Honors English students perk up and grin* How can the state of California say a school should be run this way: an authoritarian, demanding, nearly-democratic school system… They can’t gosh darn it! *The audience cheers* Well, I suppose they can, because they do now… *Subdued laughter from a member of the audience* *Whack* *Thud* *Silence* But this “democracy” cannot be accepted in this nation!